were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
