You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
