Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
