and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
