If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
