am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
