Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
