About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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