I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
