So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
