So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
