I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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