Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
