Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I haven't been this sober since birth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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