I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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