i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he told me I talked like a deaf person
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
