Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
