There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
