It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
