I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
