I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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