Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My dick has a subreddit
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
