I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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