He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
