Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
