you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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