Buhtt sex?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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