is your mom at the bar?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
