u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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