Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
