so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
