You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
