he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
