Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
