I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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