I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
