what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
