He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
