i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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