It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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