Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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