he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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