I want to walk on stilts...naked
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
