just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
