WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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