I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
