used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
