just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
