this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
