those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
