Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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