Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
