This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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